Life is cruel..

I guess i should start with an introduction, I am just a person who is trying to find the reason why he exist. I am currently studying in a high school and trying to take a scholarship in Japan. I have great parents, though they always demand me to do something and give me so much pressure.. It's not just them though but lately all i have been thinking is why the world is so cruel.
Sometimes I feel like, i shouldn't exist in this world, i never did born. People would be much happier with it. Even though I am handsome, or most people just say it, tall I hardly feel like living. I am strong mentally, but it is just not enough. I have too much stress, all i have been thinking lately was how to take that scholarship. Everyday my parents ask me if i am studying, if not always give me pressure to do. I feel so lonely, though many girls asked me to date them, i feel like not..
It's not that i am homosexual or something, it's just because the girl i waited for 2 years, she just turned me down.. No she didn't but i didn't have enough courage to ask her..
If a wizard would come and would grant me one wish, then I would ask him to make forgot all people who know me about my existence. So that i can go wherever i want...I want to travel...Place to place..with no worries...without thinking anything...doing part-time jobs....leaving...to another place....
I have tons of awesome friends, though it's just that...I am not supposed to exist in this world..