Why!?

It seems like there is a conspiracy that makes me feel despair. I always feel depressed even if nothing happened. I no longer afraid of death.
I really don't care if anyone is reading my posts. Just writing and reading what I wrote, makes me feel kinda relieved. It's just that I, why am I still trying to exist?
So much pressure, pressure, pressure, pressure...damn it, life is pointless? Why!? It's like hell, burning eternally,...